Sometimes I feel very sad that I am in the minority of mothers who breastfeed their baby. I feel alone, weird, even ostracized. I feel like it's not normal to breastfeed even though in my brain it is the exact opposite.
I went to the mall with my best friend the other day and it was crowded with people who were all without power. I especially saw a lot of babies, everything from teeny tiny newborns to rambunctious toddlers. Every single one of them had a bottle either in its mouth or nearby ready to use. I didn't see one mother breastfeeding.
I know nursing in public is considered taboo to a lot of people, so maybe it was breast milk in some of those bottles that I saw. That is a distinct possibility and that would be awesome. However, the pure, innocent, natural feeling and look of a nursing mother is just something that can't be replaced by an artificial bottle and especially not by artificial milk.
I try not to judge formula feeding mothers, because I don't know what they went through to make that decision and I'm happy that their baby is being fed and is happy. Yet, I feel very sad. Mainly for their baby who is missing out on so much by not being put to his mother's breast whenever he may feel the teeniest need. I love breastfeeding my son and it feels so wonderful that I want to share that feeling with every mother on Earth!
Erin over at Babies, Boobs & Blasphemy wrote an awesome post the other day about how I feel. You can read it here. It basically says that it is more important to care about the health of babies than it is to care about the feelings of formula feeding moms. And I agree wholeheartedly. The moms that get defensive about formula feeding are the ones that feel a personal hang up about the choice they have made. It's not an unknown thing that formula is an inferior choice to breast milk. That is fact. They will never be able to make a formula that is as good as the mother's milk. Even using a donor's milk, which is WAY better than formula, isn't as good as mother's milk. A woman's body changes the milk as the baby grows. It changes to whatever the baby needs, it's a remarkable thing!
And remember that I formula fed my daughter from 6 weeks on. I am not some militant lactivist. I know that formula is not poison but to say that it is 'just as good' as breast milk would be a lie. Everyone knows breast is best. Yet it feels like no one cares.
I think the worst is when someone never even tries. I respect anyone who tries but I just cannot understand giving birth to a baby and immediately shoving a bottle in its mouth. It literally breaks my heart and makes me sick to my stomach to see.
The funny thing is that I have a cousin who breastfeeds, my friend's sister-in-law breastfeeds and my neighbor breastfeeds. So I *know* I'm not alone but when I'm not with another nursing mother it just feels like I'm the only person in the world who does.
This post was not written to offend. I just needed to get my feelings off of my chest.
It does seem like babies are bottle fed everywhere you go. The thing to remember is although it feels like they all have bottles they don't. A lot of the time you just don't notice the nursing moms even when they are nursing, because really if you aren't using a cover it is hard to tell that a baby is nursing (nursing covers are bold and bright and give away the fact you are nursing more then not using one.
ReplyDeleteI've also noticed that a lot of babies between about 4 months and 11 months are not nursed in public, because it is tough, they are always pulling off and looking around. I will occasionally try with Sully but really after the third pop off, he is done, and most of the time he doesn't seem hungry when we are out since he is so happy watching everything else going on. With a bottle fed baby you can pop in the bottle and they can still look around.
That being said, yes, I do feel like I am the only one that breastfeeds sometimes. It can be a lonely feeling, I know there are other people that breastfeed, or breastfed, but when most of the people you see are bottle feeding it feels like there are no other breast feeding mamas around. The thing is your eye is drawn to the thing that makes you stand out, so you are more likely going to notice the bottle feeding mamas, then the breast feeding ones, because they stand out to you, since you are doing something different then they are.
Hey girl...I'm a former 2007 PJ mom (lilbutterbean), momma to Allie. I've been reading your blog for a while, but this is my first comment...so Hi!! Anyhoo...I agree with you a million percent! I hate watching those TLC shows where just about every mom on there either doesn't even try or they do for about a night, claim their milk hasn't come in, and then switch to the bottle. The baby is like, two days old. Someone needs to educate that milk is often not in by then!!
ReplyDeleteOne time I was out with the girls, and I was nursing Aubrey while we were eating lunch. An older woman kept staring at me and I thought she was offended and I was ready to tell her off. After a little while, she approached me and told me she was glad to see me nursing and that she wished she'd had the guts to do it when her kids were babies.
My friend yesterday told me that she didnt want to nurse because she didnt want it to ruin her boobs. That got me going!!!
Anyhow, just wanted to say hi and I totally agree with you!
Hi Meg!! Thanks for visiting and leaving such an awesome comment!! <3
ReplyDelete