Yet Another Sleep Update

Okay, so I've already decided that letting Elliott cry himself to sleep, isn't the right decision for us.

First of all, it just plain felt wrong. I couldn't stand listening to him cry.

Second of all, this blog post from Woman, Uncensored popped up into my Facebook feed like it knew I was having a hard time. By the time I was done reading it, I was bawling my eyes out. I couldn't believe that I had done that to my children! I felt like every word she had written was directed right at me and I couldn't bear that I was that monster she was describing. The little people that grew inside of me and that I have been loving and nurturing all this time and I was treating them that way. I couldn't believe that I never saw it that way before.

Sometimes people will read a blog post like that and get defensive. They get angry that this anonymous woman is judging them so harshly. I didn't see it that way. I saw it as a chance to educate myself. To quote the famous poet, Maya Angelou, "When we know better, we do better." I went on to read the other articles and blog posts that had been linked to the "Just let her cry" post. They all taught me to do right by my children.

When Miranda was a baby, I did the CIO and I stuck with it. I was a little more disconnected from her as a baby than I am with Elliott. For whatever reason, it didn't hurt me to hear her cry herself to sleep. Knowing what I know now I feel terrible that I did that to her. However, on the other hand, she has always been a better sleeper than Elliott has been. She seems undamaged, which is comforting. Bed time isn't scary for her. She sometimes even asks to go to bed if it's getting late and she gets tired before we head upstairs. I'm sure that's pretty rare for a four year old.

So, we're kind of back to square one when it comes to sleeping. I still have to rock and nurse him to sleep. He's been waking up 2 to 4 times a night again. But, I don't feel frustrated with him anymore and I certainly do not let him cry. I will let him fuss a bit before I run to his side just because I feel it's important for him to learn to wait at least a little, especially since he has an older sister who needs her mommy too sometimes. However, once it becomes real crying, I am right there.

This is an example of why I post the links that I do on my Facebook wall. I don't care if you don't read them. I don't care if you do. I'm not posting it to judge, I'm posting it for the small group of friends who might need to read it at that moment in time. The ones looking for support or information about a certain way of parenting. The ones who feel things aren't going right and need another option. Those are the ones I post for.