Madeline Alice Spohr

This is a post about a very special little girl. A little girl who made me smile. A little who girl who let me know I was not alone.

I only recently found Heather's blog The Spohrs Are Multiplying but when I did it made my heart jump into my throat. I read about her beautiful girl Madeline. Her story echoed deep within my being because it is so similar to my Quinne's story. I read through the blog with tears streaming down my eyes. I watched the videos of them being with her and longed for that to have been us with Quinne. I felt like I was reading about my Quinne, had she lived. Reading her blog brings back many painful feelings and memories but I love reading such truthful words. Words I was never able to express properly. I ache for the Spohr family today. Maddie has been on my mind a lot lately, especially today. Today it has been one year since Maddie's spirit has left this mortal Earth and gone on to wherever souls go to.

In June, it will be 4 years since my little Quinne came and went. The "what if's" will drive you insane but there is never a day that goes by that I don't think about "what if Quinne had lived?" Even 4 years later, Quinne is always on  my mind. Always in my heart. As Maddie is in Heather and her husband, Mike's hearts. I feel their pain in the core of my being because it is my pain too. I wish this pain on no one on Earth and it saddens me that there are others. I did not and do not wish to be part of this group but I am. I live with this pain. I have become an expert at keeping it in, I have 'moved on' as much as anyone can, I suppose. But, is there ever a 'moving on'? Not really. Quinne is still a part of our lives even if she isn't physically here. Her curio cabinet with all her decorations and her urn is in our living room to be seen by all who come here.

I urge all my readers to go over and tell Heather how much her Maddie meant to them because there is no greater gift you can give to a mother who has lost her child than to tell them that you still think of them and that they are not forgotten. I don't talk about Quinne as much as Heather talks about Maddie because I didn't get the chance to make memories like she did but I know she is not forgotten either.

This is for all the babies and children out there who are no longer with us. Gone from the world but Never from our hearts.